I would like to start at the ending ,but seeing how there can be no real ending without a begining,I will start some were in the middle.IT seems to me God as always been in my life in one way or other, but it was'nt until later i would call him friend,eventuality ABBA FATHER. I would survive life, but not learn to live it, roll with the punch's but not heal from them.Depression would come and go leaveing me waiting for the next time no matter how good life was there had to be a down side,i learn to hide what i was truly feeling, mama always said if you think you got it bad than take a good look around you there some who have worst off than you so stop the pity party, get on with living.That's just what we did.Moving from place to place names , faces just became a passing thought throu my mind,the only real world we live in was our own.I feel has thou i have lived a thousand lives in my own life time,perhapsit's the small thruth's about ourselfs that hurt the most in the darkess hour of the night, if only i could, if only i did,when someone is forever lost to us whither it be in death or in life, the should a, would a, could a,might had never change the out come,but the thought of it having is painful enough. I had many opportunitys to stay or leave, but choose to run in the wrong drection hoping for the best only to find out you can't run a race half ass backward, you have to start were you are no matter where you place in the race of life,right now I must except daddy dieing,not being able to go with him, as much as i prayed daddy would go home leaving me behind once again to pick up the pieces, try to put them back together again.When i think back,some times the only memorys are the bad ones,Norman Rockwell family we were not, more like THE ADAMS FAMILY,from daddys drunken rages to mama very unstable mind life was never dull,always a challenge.